As you may or may not know, I love ugly Christmas sweaters and really bad Christmas music. You might even say that I am a purveyor of bad Christmas music. Each year, I end up with a "TOP 10" list of bad Christmas music. It changes since iTunes allows me access to an amazing amount of crap.
Since I can't keep all this joy to myself, I decided to share this year's Top 10. So, for your enjoyment, here is my TOP 10 Bad Christmas Songs for 2013:
10) Little Drummer Boy- Jessica Simpson (Gag.......)
9) 8 Days of Christmas- Destiny's Child (I think you might be confused with the '8 days' thing)
8) Funky, Funky X-Mas- Backstreet Boys (This should have never been created)
7) Another Lonely Christmas- Prince (This is a sad Christmas tale that makes no sense at all)
6) Christmas Tree- Lady Gaga ('we will take off our clothes')
5) I want Justin Bieber for Christmas- All Things Nice (yeah...no...I really don't)
4) Santa Clause Never comes to the Ghetto- Yellowman (It's reggae, mon...)
3) Christmas in the Hood- Nephew Tommy (Nothin' like a song of stereotypes...seriously...)
2) Here Comes Santa Claus- EDM (Dubstep....Frackin' Dubstep)
1) Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas- John Denver (This has been #1 on my list for 3 years. It's just that awesome!)
So, there you have it. Great tunes to celebrate this Festivus for the Rest of Us. Next up, it will be time to set out drano and rat poison for when Krampus comes crashing through the window to steal our souls! We're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'ing Kaye!