My Mom is having surgery today. I know I should be more freaked out by it than I am, but I am sure that if I hadn't been through so many surgeries myself, I would be a bit freaked out. But, I also know that there is no reason to worry, because worrying won't do anyone any good since everything is totally out of your control once "Dr. Feelgood" (the name I call anesthesiologists ever since I had my daughter) gets ahold of you, you are pretty much at the Dr.'s mercy until they get you into recovery.
So, I am at home. I feel like I am doing something "wrong" by not being at work. I feel very off today. Like I'm not getting anything done, even though I have. You may wonder why I am at home? I guess the rest of the info would be handy. My parents watch my daughter while my husband and I are at work. They used to live in an in-law suite in my house, but now they live about 1/4 mile away. Since my Mom is obviously busy, and my Dad is with my Mom, I am home.
I put my daughter on the bus at 11:30 (bus ran late) and have been wandering around feeling odd since then. It's just me and the dogs today. Actually, I have one too many dogs today. I am also watching my parents dog (who can't be left alone) while my Dad is at the hospital with my Mom. So, I have 3 Dachshunds, a Welsh Corgi and a Lhasa Apso running around here. The Lhasa is old. He used to be "my" dog before I went to college. He's like a little teddy bear. A teddy bear that can not be left alone. I think he just turned 14. He's old and can't see, but he still finds ways of driving the other dogs insane. He has been whining for the past 10 minutes. I think he misses my Dad. He's usually glued to my Dad.
I saw my Mom briefly before she left for the hospital. Luckily, they seemed distracted by how to get her home. They drive a Jeep Liberty that my husband and I bought them for Christmas. My Mom doesn't think she will be able to get in it, so I told them they could borrow my Monte carlo since it's closer to the ground. It doesn't matter to me as long as I have some way to get to work. (Husband will be watching the daughter that day)
She talked to my sister on the phone at my house before she left. As she hung up the phone, I heard her say "love you". As she left my house, I had to stop her because she was going to leave without even giving me a hug. She didn't say "love you" to me. Matter of fact, I can't remember the last time I heard her say that to me. And, I'm kicking myself right now for not saying "I love you" to her before she left. I don't know why it seems so hard.
Maybe I am a bit more freaked out than I am letting myself believe......